"What Have I Been Thinking?"

 
     "Real men don't make there girl jealous about the other girls but they make the other girls jealous about there girl."

     According to the book called, "Feeding the Demons" --- Humans are extremely possessive creatures.  When they have something that they love, they will take care of it and be so protective about it.  This king of characteristic for human is simply natural.

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     Though I want to see her, She keeps on moving away.  It hurts me too much like an addicted person craving for a drug.  My head keeps on wondering, "How is she? Had she eaten? What she's doing? And, where is she?"  I just hate this feeling.  A sickness called anxiety due to so much wondering for the question, "How is she?"

     Everything would be so fine if she says a word even for a while.  I'm not asking all the time.  I single minute to inform me about her whether saying "Hello" or "Hi" is enough.  Yet, a conversation where the cycle only starts on one end and not the way where "Give-and-take" is practiced.  That kind of conversation really hurts.  For it felt like the person who you are talking with is not interested in talking with you.  I hate that conversation.  You keep the conversation alive yet the other person don't do the same.   The worse part is, the other person does not listen to what you say.  It has no difference talking to a wall that doesn't speak, a stuff toy that doesn't hug back, and a ceiling that doesn't breathe.

     I know I'm quite dumb adjusting to other people. So scared of having an argument, for hurting someone is never my action.

     "She kept hitting him; she couldn't hurt him enough.  He didn't try to stop her.  Just cowered under her blows, arms up to defend himself from her attack, huddled against the wall."

                                                                                           -Feeding The Demons

     I'm so use of getting hurt that even if it hurts so much, I will just remove myself from everything.  Nobody cares about what I'm thinking, nobody cares about anything to me.  Only that I care for her.  I'm not afraid of dying but now I met her, dying is never my option. A contract that I would die before my love so forth I will not see her die.

     A promise is a promise.  If  I ask you to say things, I just want to hear those words again if you still remember.  If for you its so redundant, you must be tired of that promise.  Getting tired is losing the feeling that you felt from the beginning.  That will never happen to me.  For a Knight always make there promise true.  Some says that a knight only exist in fairy tales, in dreams, or in anime.  But, it exist in me--- in my heart.  That though I get hurt, bashed, wounded or even if they take a leg or an arm---I will be her knight until forever ends.

     This is how a knight is being honored, that though they get betrayed the keep there loyalty up high.  It will never  be there shame f the are betrayed, because they just trust and serve so much.

     I just hate this feeling.  I really hate it.  The only cure for it is keep myself busy but only my pen and paper works with me.

     MY SICKNESS CALLED ANXIETY!!!!!

©Thylyt19 9:12am 112912

"Antidote"

Heaven's beauty to aid me here.

     I was left dying when something happened.  Someone lift me up and cured me from my illness.  I thought it was my the end but it was a miracle that I am here writing this to say thank you to her.
     Abandoned in pain, yes that what did happened, like a zombie that has no particular destination to go. Astray for the path I had chosen before, but because of someone, who loves Panda so much--- I am reborn like a new child.  My strength regained and my spirit boast up.  Is she an angel?  No, I guess not, because she's too real to be a creature who only lives in fantasy.  Maybe she is a white mage or a priestess that cures pain as well as wounds taken from a battle.  Maybe not, knowing she's too beautiful and talented like a princess can be.  Not princess, because she's more than a princess can be.  Nevertheless, a powerful lass that restores me from the battle of my life.  I am grateful I met her.  I am so thankful she helped me during that time.  I could have not been here if she weren't there cheering me up, aiding me to remove all my sorrow as well as the anxiety that I cannot take off by my own self.  I could never repay her for what what she had done to me.  I can never return for what she gave me.  A life that was decaying, a life that was almost gone.  Honestly, if ever I have a wish, I want her to be happy---seeing  her smile and laugh is my goal.  The Girl who is my antidote for my anxiety.

I can remember the sweetness of this

The beautiful Panda girl

     Thank you, beautiful maiden who love panda, I will never forget what you did.  I don't own this life anymore.  It is yours to take over with.  This is the only way I think of returning your deed, offering you my life---And never to abandon your side no matter what happens.  Forgive me, for my short-comings, my failures, as well for my errors.  I know, everything would not be enough even my own life for you.  Yet, I promise myself to serve you with all my life until you have no use of me or my death.

Thank you, Alancel S. Muerong


Thylyt19 9:24am 04102013