"What Have I Been Thinking?"

 
     "Real men don't make there girl jealous about the other girls but they make the other girls jealous about there girl."

     According to the book called, "Feeding the Demons" --- Humans are extremely possessive creatures.  When they have something that they love, they will take care of it and be so protective about it.  This king of characteristic for human is simply natural.

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     Though I want to see her, She keeps on moving away.  It hurts me too much like an addicted person craving for a drug.  My head keeps on wondering, "How is she? Had she eaten? What she's doing? And, where is she?"  I just hate this feeling.  A sickness called anxiety due to so much wondering for the question, "How is she?"

     Everything would be so fine if she says a word even for a while.  I'm not asking all the time.  I single minute to inform me about her whether saying "Hello" or "Hi" is enough.  Yet, a conversation where the cycle only starts on one end and not the way where "Give-and-take" is practiced.  That kind of conversation really hurts.  For it felt like the person who you are talking with is not interested in talking with you.  I hate that conversation.  You keep the conversation alive yet the other person don't do the same.   The worse part is, the other person does not listen to what you say.  It has no difference talking to a wall that doesn't speak, a stuff toy that doesn't hug back, and a ceiling that doesn't breathe.

     I know I'm quite dumb adjusting to other people. So scared of having an argument, for hurting someone is never my action.

     "She kept hitting him; she couldn't hurt him enough.  He didn't try to stop her.  Just cowered under her blows, arms up to defend himself from her attack, huddled against the wall."

                                                                                           -Feeding The Demons

     I'm so use of getting hurt that even if it hurts so much, I will just remove myself from everything.  Nobody cares about what I'm thinking, nobody cares about anything to me.  Only that I care for her.  I'm not afraid of dying but now I met her, dying is never my option. A contract that I would die before my love so forth I will not see her die.

     A promise is a promise.  If  I ask you to say things, I just want to hear those words again if you still remember.  If for you its so redundant, you must be tired of that promise.  Getting tired is losing the feeling that you felt from the beginning.  That will never happen to me.  For a Knight always make there promise true.  Some says that a knight only exist in fairy tales, in dreams, or in anime.  But, it exist in me--- in my heart.  That though I get hurt, bashed, wounded or even if they take a leg or an arm---I will be her knight until forever ends.

     This is how a knight is being honored, that though they get betrayed the keep there loyalty up high.  It will never  be there shame f the are betrayed, because they just trust and serve so much.

     I just hate this feeling.  I really hate it.  The only cure for it is keep myself busy but only my pen and paper works with me.

     MY SICKNESS CALLED ANXIETY!!!!!

©Thylyt19 9:12am 112912